Sean, Seany, Oneshot, Oneshotbilly, Oneshotbillyboy, One-shot-for-the-mother-fucking-win!
What is there to say about this legend? I shall start from the very beginning...
It was a cold dark night in south London. A mouse stirred under the stairs. The wind was howling outside the dark house on the corner of the street. The moon was high and lit up the rain falling from the sky. The house was dark, it was late and smoke was pluming from the chimney. The fence rattled and the gate swung open and closed making a cracking noise as the wood broke. Two restless souls turned under their sheets, tossing and turning, unable to sleep from the sound of the rain drops coming through the small hole in the roof and into the pot. Plop, plop, plop, plop.
It was then that the couple turned over and faced eachother, warm in the contrast to the chill in the air. They locked their bodies together and made love in the silence of the night. He came as the lightning struck the house and she felt the electricity through the iron bed she gripped as she orgasmed. That was the night of his conception.
Sean spent his early years as a chimney sweep. He would adorn his sweats and don his short shorts and start his day at 5am. He would go from house to house with his little sweepy brush and his little sollen sack asking if he could "climb the ole mast". Sean was a quiet, good boy, fast and dilligent at his job. He rarely made a mess and was recommended through the town by word of mouth. Mrs Brannigan (the cobblers wife) often gave him shortbread and soup when he bowed to her by her shop window. Sean liked the soup but the shortbread made his tummy bigger and that would mean getting stuck up the mast!
Not a bad way to earn a crust, Sean's father would tell him, each night at the dinner table. "I was in the mines to start with, I only got restbite when I was promoted to the railway". Seans mother would always rub his fathers back during this story as if he were still feeling the aches and pains he suffered in those years. Sean didn't say to much, he kept his head down and finished his supper. He would often sit by the fire counting the flames till he was tired and went to bed.
By the time he was 12 he got a job as a farm hand, he'd bumped into Mr Haymarket in the street and almost put his broom somewhere most unpleasant! They hit it off at once and Sean was taught all of the ins and outs of the country life. At first he would catch the horse and carts from the markets but when he was 15 he bought himself a bike and a new cap which never fell off. It was during these years he learned alot from the world, he felt he led a double life, one in the country where he worked with the animals and the machines, and then one in the city where he helped with the butcher carrying the meat over town. "A streetwise boy he'll be" his mother would say.
By the time Sean was 16 he was too big for the chimneys, his father had saved some money so he sent him to school. Sean was quick to learn and soon because wealthy. He helped with the banking and bought himself an xbox 360, a step up from his ps2. This was the start of his life as a Oneshot.
Each day would pass and Sean would grow and grow, with his 17th birthday looming he treated himself and his younger sister Jamiette to Halo 3 which kept them entertained in the long summer nights. He bought a DS and MKDS for the journeys to and from the Bank and was pleased with his standards.
Such a charming young fellow, the girls used to whisper. "Quite a catch" said Sylvie and Karina. He soon found himself a damsel, a fair maiden indeed, who cuddled and kissed him on the tough days. There was jealousey here and jealousey there, many of the men in the town hated his talent, they were not level 30's, mere captains in his wake.
Which brings me to the present day, where Sean is a kind, loving, spamming, gentlemen with tight wit and glorious grace which he blesses us with every day.
Please vote for him, or lambs across Sudbury will cry.
Sean also has a younger brother that his family locks in a cage with nothing but a laptop and a copy of halo 2 special edition.
|The 2012 Karter Contest|
| Round 1 Groups | Round 2+ Bracket | Matchups & Results
(BOLD indicates contest winner)
(1) Enchanted Woods Creatures
Finn | Duff | Eoj | Aron
Honko | Shock | Frigz | NikeXTC
more like Group J (9)