Clint Stevens

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Clint1.jpegEmperor Taizu of Later Liang Zhu Wen.jpgClint2.jpgReset-button2.png

Clont "BDSM" Steebo is the descendant of the ancient Chinese Emperor Zhu Wen[1], known to his friends as Cho King (運行殺手, literally, "the run killer").

Monthly Updates

Februrary: Christopher got to Dante on the first run of the day. Sadly, after cursing the Canadians, the run in turn was cursed by Dante who proceeded to kill the run. After careful examination of historical evidence, it was determined that Christopher was descended from WATER-WHIPPIN King Xerxes.

It was also determined that there are no reliable emote makers for Christopher's Twitch channel. All of them are flakey starving artists. It was also determined that xenoda is in fact still a female mod whose real name is: Bunny Foo-Foo.

Personal History

Christopher has been speedrunning ever since the 8th grade. His first game to speedrun was "A Bug's Life" for the Nintendo 64. He also plays competitive Star Fox 64. He was the pioneering force behind the CLiNTSLYDE™. A CLiNTSLYDE™ is the real name for a HESS. Other runners just started to call it a HESS because they didn't want to give Christopher credit for discovering it. Christopher also was the first runner to discover how to manipulate Dampe's heart piece minigame, when he found that sacrificing willing virgin plebs from his chat would increase the odds of a heart piece. However, only Christopher can detect those who are suitable offerings and so his mods tend to fail him in getting a good Dampe.

Records

He is 2nd place in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 100%. Edit : He is now in third place in OOT and will never reach first place. (lost second place to a blind man.)

Currently in 100th place in Super Mario 64 120 star speedrun.

Currently in 198th place in Super Mario 64 70 star speedrun

Created an entire economy based off of his Super Mario splits, it has bankrupted thousands of twitch chat plebs.

Currently 2nd in Super Mario Odyssey for the mushroom kingdom koopa freerun race (12.65)

Clint5.jpg

Love Story

It all started on a beautiful sunny day, when the birds where chirping and everybody seemed happy. The young Clont woke up fuckin late, because his sleep schedule is was complete mess and he always started the streams late. He lived in a normal house in a farm-like area, with a half-naked neighbour cutting the grass twice a day. However, this is not the neighbour we are interested in. Because the soon to be Ms. Clint, the lovely 80 year old neighbour, cooked the most delicious cookies for Clont on this faithful day. The moment this young 12 year old looking boy saw the box full of cookie, his heart skipped a beat and he knew he had just fallen in love with the lady.

However, everything was not perfect at the time. You see, ms girlfriend already had a husband called idk but he is Satan. Satan cheated on ms neighbour with another woman and made the relationship public to divorce his wife. But, in a predictable plot twist, the other woman dumped his shitty ass after he made it public and Satan stayed with ms neighbour. Clont knew about the situation with Ms. Neighbour, and decided he would do her, not for him, not for his desperate sexual needs, but to get back at this evil man and make him taste his own medicine.

End of chapter 1 To get the second chapter of this suspenseful story and all the baby making details, make sure to convince Clont to mod the whomps_pogchamp.


Trivia

  • His favorite part of the run is the part with Dante the Gravekeeper.
  • Christopher is lactose intolerant and is 6'4", he also has a really really attractive sister named Katie. She is dating an European man who likes mountains.
  • Christopher is an extremely sore loser who will resort to biting in extreme measures.
  • He is also a hollywood actor in his spare time, having done CGI modelling work for A Bug's Life.
  • Chris is the ex-boyfriend of renowned American singer-songwriter Katy Perry.
  • His favorite copypasta is "I really would d8 you, but internet relationship stuff is pretty dicey. Also I really don't know you super good and living in your parents mansion with you would probably be weird. We could live in a shack with amazing internet i guess. But we might just be destined to be internet baes"
  • His favorite Twitch emote is elegiggle and his favorite ASCII art is "Tits a Me! Mario!"
  • Christopher Stevens, 15, was involved in a sex scandal in February 2016. He was outed as sending "sappy" messages to fellow user Brizomatic. One such message follows: "I really would d8 you, but internet relationship stuff is pretty dicey. Also I really don't know you super good and living in your parents mansion with you would probably be weird. We could live in a shack with amazing internet i guess. But we might just be destined to be internet baes"
  • Another famous copy pasta on Clunt's stream: Christopher Stevens, 68 years old, died from heart failure after he got cucked by brizz yet once again. He leaves his wife, Snowdrops_, as well as his 27 kids, who are now working full time as OoT streamers to snatch the WR from zfg to honor their deceased father. He will be remembered for his appearance in Bug Life, and for playing Runescape for many years. Rip Christopher BibleThump
  • Christopher is a notable leader of the "Alt right" and has talked about leading a crusade to take back Constantinople.
  • Christopher's sister has been described as "FUCKIN T H I C C!".
  • Clints favorite go to quote is "Mamma Mia that's a spicey subscription" when plebs turn to the good side
  • Clint can be consistently caught loitering at whomps, loves taking his sweet ass time getting the same stars 3x at least a day.

Easter Eggs

Oscar winning Goron Impersonation: http://oddshot.tv/shot/clintstevens-20160209103242305

Brizz... OxyOfficial... Snowdrops_... Lauren07. Long ago, the four Internet Baes lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Snowdrops_ Nation attacked. Only Christopher Stevens, master of all four Internet baes, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he was late to stream. A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new OOT player, a speedrunner named ZFG. And although his Wrong Warp skills are great, he still has a lot to learn before he's ready to unthrone Christopher "big dick" Stevens. But I believe ZFG can save the world.- Credit Arcade Riven NA - Fixed by Arcade Riven EU EleGiggle I fucked your bitch

Clint can't enjoy spicy food, and thus chat has dubbed him "Clint 'little bitch boy tongue' Stevens".

Controversies

After a video was uploaded to youtube of clint "singing" a fan made rap song the video was DMCA'd by the person who made the cover art for the video because he was not given credit. Clint then went HAM on him. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYAEeZvKBzI

A plus sized woman named with the user name "SnowDrops" was a legitimate fan of Clint and could take the jokes at her expense but one day Clint went to far with toying with her emotions after he challenged her new boyfriend to a game of SMASH for her love. She then made clint remove all quotes involving her and Clint is legally not allowed to talk about her. (This may be an actual fact)

SM64 Speedruner "siglemic" accused Chimp of viewbotting. Sig then went to Chimps twitch chatroom and was then anally destroyed before he was banished to the shadow realm/ fell into obscurity.

A fan with the username FLORENCE lost his thumb in a buzz saw accident and Chimp gave him a thumbs up and said everything was going to be ok. (Chimp is an ass)

In his SM64 runs Chimp puts chat into sub-only mode because his autism got the better of him one night after choking harder than normal and saying that all plebs in his chat were racist. (Even though he had an emote of himself in black face EleGiggle)

Karmoniq doesn't like clint anymore now that she sees what a man child he is, which is understandable. RaccAttack.

T-Pain and clonk are confirmed brothers, although clunt is often described as being "megaracist"

https://clips.twitch.tv/DelightfulGlutenFreeLadiesDxCat "Not having black people around isnt a bad thing." (Hes not wrong but people like to meme it anyway.)

https://clips.twitch.tv/ToughHungryCougarPlanking Fat roastie inhaling cocks but says she wont fuck Clint. clintW

External Links

Less Official Wikis

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