2009 Craption Tuesday

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It's 2009 Craption Tuesday! Let's see who came up with the best captions for these 10 (plus TB) images!

Final Results

1. Ngamer - 17 points (won TB)
2. QB - 17 points
3. DK - 12 points
4. Thingy - 11 points
5. Third - 9 points
6. Mgay - 8 points
6. Graves - 8 points
8. Infil - 7 points
8. Youse - 7 points
10. Clemens - 5 points
11. Goose - 4 points
12. Jimbo - 3 points

Craption TB

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1. Live Action Smurfs Movie casts the Blue Man Group. And then they all go out and have a breath-holding contest. In the cold. And they're sad. (QB) - 4
2. Everyone seems to be having a great time... except for Tobias on the left there, who is STILL having trouble joining the Blue Man Group. (Ngamer) - "5"

Craption #10

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1. As soon as I saw this I just had to try it. Everything went well until I spilled the coffee pot right on my junk. (Thingy) - 1
2. Ngamer is hiding in the bushes with QB and DK. They are all masturbating looking at this statue. PS; Goose and Clemens are fucking all their girlfriends RIGHT NOW. (Goose) - x
3. One of the hidden pleasures of being Dhalsim. (Youse) - 2
4. Has anyone seen my keys? (Mgay) - 1
5. He ate 3 pounds of beefaroni earlier that day, I can only imagine the pain he is in! (Clemens) - x
6. The Kama Sutra: Solo Edition seemed like a great buy, but actually it was pretty much just 100 pages of this. (Ngamer) - 2
7. Mmm, that tracheotomy ended up paying off! (DK) - x
8. He finally got his head out of his ass! (Jimbo) - 2
9. Look at the red plants. Please. For God's sake. (Third) - 1
10. "YOU GUYS ARE ALL FUCKING COCK SUCKERS" "save that for this pic Goose" (Graves, with help from Ngamer) - 1
11. Yo, I'ma let you finish sucking yourself off, but din mor gives the best suckies of all time. OF ALL TIME! (QB) - 1
12. Taken in Piscataway, New Jersey, these flowers are amazing. (Infil) - 1

Craption #9

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1. After looking at his blueprints, God decided the world would be a better place if men didn't menstruate. On the 7th day, he rested. (Goose) - x
2. Well, at least he waited until he got off the skiing high jump. (Graves) - 2
3. Well I assume he hurt his groin somehow...I don't really understand the picture. (Third) - 1
4. Who's going to care that the electric current follows their left leg to leave their body when they urinate barefoot off the overpass....who's going to urinate barefoot off the overpass, anyway :-\? (Thingy) - x
5. Want to commit suicide on a bridge but too afraid to jump? Just pee on some electrical wires, which are known to OFTEN run underneath bridges. (Youse) - x
6. If half your urine is red, you have bigger problems than an electrical shock. (Infil) - 1
7. Ngamer says: "This is what happens if you don't vote!" (Mgay) - 1
8. Oh my GOD. My arm is broken! (DK) - 1
9. Don't Wiz On The Electric Fence: EXTREME Edition. (Ngamer) - 3
10. The red arrow marks the spot where Ngamer's mouth would typically be in this sort of situation. (Clemens) - 2

Craption #8

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1. I Vote To Bag Goose...'s Girlfriends. (Ngamer) - 1
2. Jon's basement is a scary place. (QB) - 1
3. Every person has a soulmate. Unfortunately for these girls, Thiradell, Thingy and Goose are never coming for them. (Goose) - x
4. The "hot, cock-craving girls" Goose helped to obtain alcohol this summer at the cottage. (Thingy) - x
5. They're ALL waiting on one toilet. (Third) - 3
6. Ngamer, your order has arrived! (Mgay) - 2
7. Off camera, there's a 7th woman washing all the clothes. (Infil) - x
8. Exclusive footage of the Mailorder Bride Warehouse! (Youse) - 2
9. This is what Ngamer kept in his basement before he started getting REALLY creepy. (DK) - 2
10. ...................ohcrapIstillneedtowriteacapti-*TIME!* (Graves) - x
11. Ladies and gentlemen, the dark corner of Ryan White's basement has finally been lit up. (Clemens) - x

Craption #7

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1. Gulliver's burial had markedly less fanfare than his Travels. (Youse) - 1
2. Look, I realize the NYPD has their hands full, but to have not hauled away King Kong after EIGHTY YEARS? (Ngamer) - 2
3. The inside of Pope John Paul II's casket. He'll be larger than life forever. (Thingy) - x
4. Wow, those people look like ants next to Jimbo's skeleton! (Clemens) - x
5. M. Night Shymalan just HAD to add a twist to his movie version of Gulliver's Travels... (Graves) - 1
6. Jimbo's funeral was rudely interrupted by Kanye West. "I'mma let you all finish, but Michael Jackson had the BEST DEATH OF ALL TIME." (Goose) - 1
7. Look, it's a 1996 Ford Aerostar. (Third) - x
8. Pretty sure that minivan is illegally parked. (DK) - 1
9. Most will mistake this for Jimbo, but it was actually Jim's 12:01 snack. (QB) - 4
10. How are all these people getting home with just one car there? Public transit, I guess. (Infil) - x
11. Why is there a skeleton in your living room? More importantly, why are there a bunch of tiny people and cars and things in your living room? (Mgay) - 1

Craption #6

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1. I believe I've found a wrong way to eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. (Mgay) - 2
2. Make sure you hold tightly onto the chopsticks when you insert the half beer bottle into your anus. (Thingy) - 2
3. Put your butt here...you got it? Good. (Third) - -1
4. Beware of GIANT ARROWS when riding chairlift! (DK) - x
5. Please ask the attendant if you are having trouble positioning yourself onto the ski lift. (Graves) - 3
6. No surprise that Infil has spent over $5000 at ski hills. More odd is that Goose somehow spent that much in ONE NIGHT. (Ngamer) - 1
7. Posted at the base of Mount Brokeback in the winter, with attached pamphlet that says "It is now okay to ride the ride." (Infil) - 1
8. Mr Hand's' biggest threat, Mr Pole!! (Clemens) - 1
9. Watch for old people and prostate exams. (Goose) - x
10. What happens when you urinate while participating in the skiing high jump even. (Youse) - 1

Craption #5

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1. "TOO OLD!" Goose shouts in disgust. (Goose) - 2
2. Ryan White is VERY familiar with the answer to this question. (Mgay) - x
3. Find out the answer to life's most important question for only a quarter! (Graves) - x
4. You have to pay the troll toll to get into this boys hole. (Clemens) - 1
5. Just ask Ngamer. I hear he's been "studying" them carefully for years (DK) - x
6. Little penises? (Third) - x
7. Not shown: The "What Are Little Girls Made Of" panel, led by guest lecturer Ryan White (Infil) - 3
8. Star exhibit from the new Michael Jackson Honorary Museum. You press the button to hear about TRUE resolve. (Thingy) - 1
9. Zoltar stole Tom Hanks's youth! (QB) - 2
10. Not surprising that Infil has spent $5000 in the arcades. Odder is that Goose somehow spent that much in ONE NIGHT. (Ngamer) - 2
11. The booming voice of confidence quickly turns into self-doubt after the asker internalized the pedophilic nature of his inquiry. (Youse) - x

Craption #4

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1. The Enterprise arrives to save Mr. Game & Watch's only remaining descendant. (Third) - 4
2. Get back here you fucking nigger jew alien bee!! (Clemens) - x
3. You can only get his attention if you start stomping on cockroaches. Then, he'll turn around and fight you. You will win that fight thanks to that chick you were hitting on earlier in the movie. (Youse) - 1
4. Corey spent 25 minutes trying to convince me this ancient monument was the inspiration for Star Trek and several other movies. Eventually he admitted he was joking. (Thingy) - 2
5. Proof that aliens do come from Mexico. (Mgay) - x
6. There's been a growing movement to get Metaknight banned from Brawl tournaments. Less publicized has been the strict banning of Mr. Game and Watch from Star Trek conventions. (Ngamer) - x
7. Lol there's a Quebec flag in this picture. Seriously! (Goose) - x
8. That was the most disgusting gas station rest room I've ever been in. Let's get out of here! (DK) - 3
9. Seriously, where are the bathrooms around here!? (Graves) - x
10. argh, I cAN'T catch him! (QB) - 1

Craption #3

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1. The statue dedicated to the Detroit Lions franchise (Jimbo) - 0 for not voting (would have been 2)
2. Aww, you can't pee with people watching, can you? MORON. HOMO. LOOK SHE WON'T TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU YOU HOMO. (Third) - x
3. A glimpse of Boss's training regimen; it's what actually happens when he says he goes out to the barn to practice swordfighting. (Thingy) - 1
4. A clear violation of Man Rule #1 - Never get into a pissing contest when you're rock hard. (QB) - 4
5. I can do this just as long as you can. (Graves) - x
6. Someone should help that dead ninja back there. (DK) - 2
7. As if wrestling in chocolate pudding weren't already exciting enough, the ancient Greeks prefaced each match by urinating on their battlefield. (Mgay) - x
8. PENIS = BLOCKED, BURNED, LIFE RUINED (Goose) - 1
9. 2 guys 1 fountain. (Youse) - x
10. Celebrating the all-time pissing contest WR... though most claim it was wind-aided. (Ngamer) - x
11. Cool statue, bro. (Infil) - 1
12. Welcome to the REAL Brokeback Mountain, the story of two naked cowboys standing in muddy water and urinating in a voyeuristic fashion. (Clemens) - x

Craption #2

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1. Clemens, Wouter and Bosshardt, speedrunning since conception! (Goose) - x
2. It's the "Babymaker Special": Buy 1, Get 2 Free! (Graves) - x
3. Jeez, these new "morning after" drugs just keep getting less and less subtle... (Ngamer) - 5
4. Buy Popsy Christmas lights! They're sure to set the mood on the cold, dark winter nights! (Thingy) - 2
5. The toys Ngamer's parents used to teach him about pre-pubescent sex! (Jimbo) - x
6. I pity whoever has to have THAT baby... (Mgay) - 1
7. The final product endorsment of the late Billy Mays (DK) - x
8. Paul Bunyan's sperm, $2.99. (QB) - 2
9. Lifesize replica of the sperm with which Jimbo was conceived. (Youse) - x
10. Boom boom 3 popsy's (Clemens) - 1
11. Aww, you lost your ribbon, didn't you? MORON. HOMO. LOOK THAT SNAKE IS COMING TO EAT YOU YOU HOMO. (Third) - x

Craption #1

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1. Holy shit, they spelled chili wrong. (Jimbo) - 1
2. The war veterans Iraq horror stories were somewhat deflated by the performance of Shrek 2 coming on right afterwards. (Ngamer) - 1
3. Goose performing his smash cover of Toxic, only to be interrupted by an even more drunk Kanye West. IMMA LET YOU FINISH BUT BRITNEY SPEARS HAD THE BEST VERSION OF TOXIC OF ALL TIME. (Goose) - x
4. The AudioKnights' new song, "Jimbo ate his soul out" (Thingy) - 2
5. That damn gingerbread boy is behind me again, isn't he? (Thingy) - x
6. Admission is free for children, who will subsequently be eaten by anthropomorphic baked goods. (Mgay) - x
7. *rapping* "Betta run, betta run, just as fast as you can, But you'll never catch my ass, I'm the Gingerbread Man biotches!" (Graves) - 1
8. Real soldiers jam with ginger bread men, put your motherfuckings hands in da air. (Clemens) - x
9. Yo, I'ma let you finish but QB had one of the greatest KotHs of ALL TIME. (QB) - 2
10. This bongo drum is TOO SMALL. (DK) - 3